Parenting Style
As the visual representation below shows, there are a many variables that influence parents in “tailoring” their parenting styles. Some “variable characteristics” are consciously chosen, but others “happen”. These latter characteristics are shaped by internal psychological factors. These are not consciously known to the parent and are influenced by exterior factors such as personal upbringing and society. If you, as parents, willingly analyse your own behaviour patterns in the areas listed in the model, and then follow suit with your children, there is better understanding of how to create harmony in the family.
Both parties may differ in values, expectations, wants and needs. Your children experience society, peer group aspirations and behavioural norms that diverge from your own experiences. Hence conflict is pre-programmed. But if you, as parents, look at these variables objectively and become aware of the different perceptions, then you can foster understanding and empathy on both sides. When both parties are clear on their needs, wants and values, this opens the path for “productive communication” between parents and children. Thus both parties find a satisfactory consensus to adhere to.
The model “unmasks” ingrained and subconscious believes and so the model helps you to create a reality of the situation. The overlapping sides of both parents and children are revealed and when both sides are on the same map again, they can jointly construct their family surroundings and lifestyle.
The model depicted below shows all the areas you should analyse and reflect upon to better understand your parental style and how this one impacts on how you, yourself, as a parent bring up your children and the impact you have on their lives. Click on the image to see the full-screen picture of the model.
Your parenting style is influenced by your own upbringing as well as by the norms and expectations of your environment. However, your emotions, especially fears and desires, determine your parenting style even more so. Projecting fears and your own ingrained believes about the world onto your children will reveal highly unproductive for their healthy and balanced emotional and personal development. Analysing and rethinking your own ingrained believes and facing your fears and expectations will show highly productive and free you from perpetuating your own unproductive behaviour patterns by reframing the role model you act upon.